Dear Aida

I have a friend who got pregnant and left school a couple of months later. She really wanted to have a baby, which was her dream. But, wouldn’t it be worse to have that dream accomplished, and not have a way to survive with the little child? She actually has no support from her family. How can I help her?

Concerned

Dear Concerned,

Your friend made the decision to have a child and start her own family, so she must feel confident and ready to make the sacrifices to keep her family well and healthy. If she has no support from her family, then you can support her. Be a good friend and show her she’s not alone. However, if she doesn’t have a plan, help her form one. She has to make a plan to be successful.

My final advice is to stay by her side and be the friend that she needs, so she can build up that confidence and strength to get through this.

Dear Aida,

I have a friend who is stuck between two guys. Which one should she pick? Her number one love or the guy who treats her like a queen?

Your Dearest Friend

Dear Your Dearest Friend,

I think she should pick the guy who treats her like a queen. There’s a reason why she caught feelings for the second guy. She may love the other one, but if she loved him as much to not focus on someone else, then she would’ve never paid any mind to the other guy.

Love isn’t the full responsibility for a relationship. There’s also trust, honesty, and respect. Honestly, if the guy she doesn’t love treats her better, then she should turn her attention to him.

Dear Aida,

I have a friend who just moved here from a different state. She moved here because she had too many problems in her old school. She now lives with her dad and her little brother. Her little sister lives with her mom. Her mom has a drinking problem. She doesn’t want to leave her little sister alone, in that situation, but her little brother needs her just as much. She doesn’t want to make one sibling feel more important than the other. What should she do?

Someone Who Cares

Dear Someone Who Cares,

Having a family separation is something really sad. It’s especially hard, if they have young children who have no idea of what’s going on. Both of your siblings need you and you have to be strong to help them out. One of your parents should be mature enough to see that their kids are suffering. They should come up with some sort of agreement among them, so no one suffers.

Both your siblings and yourself need your parents. Now that all of you guys are growing up, they need their support, physically and mentally. Your brother and sister both need you, but I believe that in this case your little sister needs you more. She needs you more, because your mother might not be sober all the time. Your mother can abuse your sister physically and emotionally when she is drunk.

Another thing you can do is convince your dad to bring your sister to live with him. That is the best option you have in this entire situation. By doing so, you’ll be with both of your siblings and you won’t have to worry about your younger sister. Make sure you convince your father by telling him what’s really going on with your mother. There’s a possibility he might not even know what’s going on! I hope my advice helps you and good luck.

Dear Aida,

My friend’s mother passed away and I want to make my friend feel better, but I don’t know how.

Worried Friend

Dear Worried Friend,

I’m sorry to hear about your friend’s loss, but I have a couple of options for you. One, give him/her some space, or two, stay and comfort him/her. Since you know your friend better than I do, you decide what’s best. Remember, this is a delicate topic, so be patient and sensitive.

Try not to be aggressive and don’t smother him/her. When talking, make the conversation light, simple, and bring some comedy into it. You must distract your friend from his/her tragic problem.

If your friend wants you there with him/her, go out and make an effort to entertain. If your friend wants you to give him/her space, respect that.

Be like a silhouette to your friend, but don’t suffocate him/her. Since this is a sensitive subject, I understand that it all might be stressful. Think twice before you make your move.

In the end, give it a shot, because he/she might need you. Don’t. abandon the friendship.

Dear Aida,

I have a friend whose father recently passed away. I know everyone deals with pain in different ways. However, my friend hides the pain to show others that she is strong. Should I tell her to express her true feelings or let her continue to hide her pain?

Concerned and Confused

Dear Concerned and Confused,

How ironic, I have a friend whose father also passed away and I feel like she does. The best thing to do is just support her in her time of need.

If she is acting a certain way, you are better off letting her act that way. That just may be her way of dealing with the pain. As long as you accompany her and support her, I’m sure she’ll get through this. She needs to know she isn’t alone. However, if you see she isn’t feeling better, you should advise her to seek help from an adult she trusts.

Dear Aida,

I have a friend who has a baby and she is pregnant again. Her boyfriend cheated on her a couple of times, but she doesn’t break up with him. She says she is crazy in love with him, but sometimes I feel like she’s just with him because of her son and her baby that’s on the way.

She keeps coming to me crying and I tell her the same thing over and over again. What can I do to make her understand that she needs to make better choices?

Super Concerned Friend

Dear Super

Concerned Friend,

I would suggest telling her that she doesn’t need a boyfriend right now. She needs to think about her two kids. I know he is the father of the kids, but seriously, who wants a boyfriend who cheats on you and is constantly lying to you?

Does she really want a guy by her side who doesn’t love her? Does she want to cry every day and suffer for him? She should worry about her two wonderful children and how to raise them in a loving home.

Your friend needs to break up with the guy. Yes, a break up is going to be hard and difficult, but let time pass by and she will see that she can continue with her life without him. Eventually, she will find someone who is right for her and her children, but first she needs to learn how to make better decisions.

Dear Aida,

I have a friend that found out that he is not going to graduate this year, and he is starting to give up on school and himself. I was wondering if you could give good advice to him or others.

Worried Friend

Dear Worried Friend,

The advice I would give to everyone who is in the same situation as your friend is not to give up so easily. Just because someone said you can’t graduate this year because of some classes you failed or you just don’t have enough credits, to graduate doesn’t mean you should stop doing your work .Your friend should talk to his/her guidance counselor to try to make up any classes online or consider going to night school.

I really recommend just talking to Guidance. They will explain everything to him/her and the chances for graduation. So he/she should take a trip to Guidance for the real scoop.

Dear Aida,

I have an 8-month-old baby and I’m happy with that but I have a problem, I live with her daddy and he drinks too much. He has two jobs; one is on weekdays and the other one is only on the weekends. He drinks Friday, Saturday and Sunday and he even drinks on weekdays. I really don’t like it, but he refuses to stop.

I told him that if he loves us, he should stop drinking especially for his daughter. He says he will stop, but he doesn’t. I’ll leave him if he doesn’t stop, but I really love him and I don’t want to leave his daughter without her daddy. Can you please tell me what I should do?

Mother’s Love

Dear Mother’s Love;

In this situation you should put your baby first. Do you think he’s setting a good example for her? I’m aware that your baby is only 8 months, but she knows and distinguishes the good and bad things. By the way, you’re saying that he drinks mostly every day. He seems to have a big alcoholic problem and should seek help.

Maybe he is trying to change because he really does care about his daughter and you. But there might be factors that are making him come back to drinking. One of them could be his co-workers. The people among us make a huge impact in our everyday life. I bet that most of the times he is not drinking alone. He, as the father, should think more about his daughter and try his best not to be influenced by the surrounding people.

Another thing I can recommend is take him to a specialist. Be more open to him and talk about whatever he might have on his mind. More than his wife, girlfriend and baby’s mama, you should be his best friend too.

Remember, he is a human being. He also has problems and gets stressed out. He’s not perfect and neither are you, but you both have each other to help each other out. That is what a relationship is mostly about; to help each other out regardless of the situation. Good Luck!