Bullying is unwanted, aggressive behavior among school aged children that involves a real or perceived power imbalance, according to the government website stopbullying.gov. The behavior is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time. Both kids who are bullied and who bully others may have serious, lasting problems. Even when the bullying stops, usually the hurt goes on.
But bullying has to have certain components in order to qualify as bullying. For example kids who bully use their power—such as physical strength, access to embarrassing information, or popularity—to control or harm others. Power imbalances can change over time and in different situations, even if they involve the same people.
However, to be bullying the acts must be repetitive. Someone who is mean to you one day is not necessarily a bully. They are probably just having a bad day. They need sympathy more than the authorities.
While most people think that bullying is a big kid who beats on a little kid, the truth is that there are six distinct kinds of bullying. If a bully threatens, spreads rumors, attacks someone physically or verbally, and excludes someone from a group, then they are being a bully. Physical bullying, where someone is physically hurt, is just one of the kinds of bullying. Most students will tell you that things that people say hurt just as much, if not more than getting punch. Verbal bullying is where name calling and jokes about others is used to hurt others and it is bullying.
Other related forms of bullying are indirect bullying and social alienation. If a bully uses indirect methods to exclude someone from a group, by spreading stories, lies and rumors, then that is considered bullying. By pointing out the differences between someone and the rest of a group, including ethnic background, by spreading lies or stories, just to keep someone out of a group, then that is just as much bullying as punching them.
Intimidation bullying is another type, where the use of threats to frighten others makes a victim afraid to do the things that makes school fun. When a victim is afraid, they cannot concentrate on school work and will be unhappy and eventually depressed.
Finally, in this age of digital media, cyber bullying is, sadly, part of our culture. Advanced communications unfortunately means advanced bullying for many students. When embarrassing pictures, and other information is sent to specifically hurt someone, then this is a particularly hurtful kind of bullying.
Bullying can occur during or after school hours. While most reported bullying happens in the school building, a significant percentage also happens in places like on the playground or around town. It can also happen when travelling to or from school, in the youth’s neighborhood, or, especially today, on the internet.
However, authorities are aware of this problem and if anyone feels like they are being bullied then they should tell someone. Tell a teacher, a guidance counselor, or a principal and they WILL help. In fact, they want to help. No one needs to ever be the victim of a bully.
