By Armando Martinez

When people hear the words “abusive relationship” their mind goes to straight to physical, not even thinking about how abuse can come in different forms. It doesn’t always need to be physical, it can also be verbal and mental abuse. Nearly 1.5 million high school students nationwide experience physical abuse from dating partner in a single year. It has been reported that 1 in 10 high school students have been purposely hit, slapped or physically hurt by their partner. This type of violent behavior usually begins around the ages of 12 and 18.
The question is, how does one know that they are in an abusive relationship?

Abusers will use a variety of strategies to manipulate you and use their power:

Dominance:
Abusive individuals need to feel in charge of the relationship. They will make decisions for the you, and tell you what to do and expect you to obey without question. The abuser will treat you like their child or as property, they want to have control over you.

Humiliation:
An abuser will do everything he/she can to embarrass you or make you feel less of yourself. If you feel worthless or that no one wants you, you’re less likely to leave the relationship. They make you believe that they are the only ones that love you. Insults, name-calling, shaming, and public put-downs are all weapons of abuse designed to destroy your self-esteem and make you feel powerless.

Isolation:
The abuser will cut you off from the outside world, to increase your dependence on them. He/she will keep you from seeing family and friends, or can prevent you from going to places. You will have to ask for permission to do anything, go anywhere, or see anyone. Last time I checked the only people that should be in control of you, should be your parents, but even they should give you some space.

Threats:
Abusers will often use threats to keep their partners from leaving and scare them from telling anyone of the abuse. He/she may threaten to kill or hurt you, other family members and friends. They might even threaten to commit suicide if you leave them.

Denial & Blame:
Abusers will make excuses for the inexcusable. They will blame their abusive and violent behavior on a bad childhood, a bad day, and will blame it on you. Your abuser partner may minimize or act as if the abuse never happened. They will constantly make you responsible for their abusive and violent behavior. Abusers often will not admit they have a problem, and that right there is a problem.

If you have experienced any of the things listed above or feel that you are in an abusive relationship get help. Discuss with your counselor in school, tell an adult you trust and go to the police. If you aren’t sure if you are in an abusive relationship, look at the red flags and warning signs that signal abuse.

Sources:
The Hotline
Huffington Post
Love is Respect
Help Guide

http://www.thehotline.org/is-this-abuse/abuse-defined/
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/abby-rodman-licsw/youre-not-going-crazy-5-s_b_8889808.html
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/pamela-jacobs/early-warning-signs-of-an_b_6009076.html
http://www.loveisrespect.org/resources/dating-violence-statistics/
http://www.helpguide.org/articles/abuse/domestic-violence-and-abuse.htm